One of my ultimate dreams could be to go anywhere. I guess ‘going places’ sometimes means being successful. My definition seems to be a bit different from it. If I can go anywhere I want, it would be a success.

One of my tutors, whom I also consider one of the significant beings in my artistic journey, went back to the opposite side of life a few years ago. She left her will to be scattered to the sea near the main airport near Seoul. I guess that is one way to be able to go anywhere. Water can go anywhere in any form. We will eventually be there, travel, talk, laugh, hear, on the planet, and to and from the stars, with a part of molcule of water. My dream will inevitably come true at any time, in any form. So, I don’t have to sweat over it.

Floating on the lukewarm water in the swimming pool, I looked at the afternoon sky in the winter time. The clouds keep forming shapes here and there and then flow, repeating it over and over. It is a shape of water.

There are certain scenes I remember and recall from time to time. One of the scenes is me looking at the clouds flowing. I looked up, while floating on the water, seeing the shape of the water in the early winter in Iceland. I looked up out of the window of my bedroom in the summer, thinking if it’s okay to do this without doing something more productive, remembering other times I did this. Once, I looked out of the window in my flat in Edinburgh with someone close to me at that time, thinking if this would be a waste of time, remembering the time I was looking up out of window at the apartment in the mountainous area that of my back then lover, thinking this is much more worthwhile than any other things, because this is the thing I used to do a lot when I was a child spending many hours alone while my parents are out for works. I used to think the clouds were telling me where I could go in the future.

While observing the shapes of the water, I was thinking about blue all along. The colours are ways of thinking in my case, and the theory I recently met insisted that the conception of the colour blue was developed relatively very late in (at least) Western languages. I strongly wanted to disagree with the idea, with no reasonable references, but with my feelings and emotions. However, staying in northen Iceland in the wintertime, it seemed to be so obvious that the blue is a default environment. It was felt like the air that we couldn’t sense in our everyday perception. Everything is just blue, day and night; The sky, the water, the mountain, the snow. The people have it in their eyes, reflecting everything around them. It is the default. I used to think people with blue eyes were from the sea. Then, I started to see the colour of water from the people I met in Iceland when I visited there for the first time, knowing there is no colour in the water. The colour of warm and hot water is the same as that of cold water. The water of my tears, sweat or mucus doesn’t look different from the things in nature. My outward colour is different from the blue, and the only reason would be the light (hence, the darkness as well).